Treat Yourself Right
The best tip I ever received about beginning to write a journal was to treat myself right. A journal needs to be a place you can come and relax. You should let your normal controlled face uncover the real you and the feelings you have inside. Your journal should never become a place to beat yourself up. It’s easy to do. You come to the page with anger, or frustration and for many the most natural thing to do is to start on yourself. You begin with statements about how stupid you are; how weak, how naive, etc.
Sound familiar? While many of us struggle with negative inner dialogue, a continual stream of nagging inside your brain, you shouldn’t allow this voice any room in your journal. I’m not suggesting for one minute you can’t grumble, whine and complain every now and then, because I think most of us have entries like that from time to time. One way of getting your anger or frustration out is to splatter it across the page. You can walk away feeling unburdened and freer. The constant down talk we might not even be aware of will put down anything you attempt and belittle every achievement you do make.
Okay, maybe you do need to lose weight, quit smoking, exercise more, etc. but avoid bringing your so called failures to your journal. If all you do is gripe and moan about how hopeless you are, soon enough you’ll feel defeated and will have no will for anything much, not even writing in your journal. Why would you come to the pages if that’s all you’re going to write about? Such material certainly makes depressing reading should some time in the future you decide to reread those entries.
Instead come and unburden yourself in a way that builds your self-esteem. Use a gentle tone. Write as if you’re telling someone who cannot interrupt you. This person will not judge you or talk down to you, ever. Write as if you’re speaking to your future self. Try addressing an actual person, or an invented one, such as Anne Frank did in her war time diary. She began each entry, Dear Kitty… Many people choose to write to someone who may no longer be alive, such as a sibling or grandparent. Whatever you decide to do, realise the entries you make in your journal are only for you.
Share about your day to day life and feelings, but try to shy away from expressions that put your down. Instead of writing phrases such as “I am a complete idiot,” try “I feel like a complete idiot because….” Go into great detail. What exactly about the situation makes you feel so stupid? In most cases you’ll begin to see you aren’t as idiotic as you imagined. Explain the situation. Ask yourself questions. Allowing yourself the room to write in this way takes the pressure off. You feel better about yourself.
Soon you’ll find you’re being good to yourself in the pages of your journal. You will loosen up and reveal more and more what you struggle with in your daily life. Knowing you’re appreciated and respected, by treating yourself this way in writing, will help you not to be hard on yourself. Feel free to write whatever you like, but be good to yourself. There are enough negative messages coming across to us each day without adding to the garbage with our own voices.
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POSTED IN: Journal Styles and Techniques
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