The Unsent Letter
Another technique to use for personal journal writing is the unsent letter. This is a powerful tool to unload the weight of guilt, withheld emotion, deep-seated anger and many other troubles we carry in our lives. Just as you would sit and write a letter to a friend or a loved one, with this technique all you need do is address the person you have in mind.
Write their name at the top of the page, Dear .., and begin telling them the things you never could when face to face. It doesn’t matter if the person you’re addressing is actually no longer alive. I’ve found these kinds of unsent letters to be the most liberating.
The unsent part is important, too. If your letter is to someone who is in fact still living, chances are you do not want them to see what youve written, at this time. Writing the letter might be a good way to sort through your feelings towards them, or how you might later speak with them. The letter is one way of addressing what is the important part of your concern.
Several years ago I wrote an unsent letter to my father who, at the time, had been dead for some twelve years. Giving voice to the emotions I’d long suppressed released something inside me. I was able to grow out of that unsent letter writing experience. The fact I had it published multiple times just shows that several people felt the same way I did about my father.
I hope you will take the time to try this technique in your own journal writing time, too.
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POSTED IN: Journal Styles and Techniques
11 opinions for The Unsent Letter
glo
Oct 25, 2005 at 4:03 am
i have a lot of unsent letter too! ;)) written in some notebook.
Heather
Oct 25, 2005 at 8:03 am
Hi again Glo,
Yes, unsent letters are an excellent way to use your journal. ;-)
Stef
Oct 25, 2005 at 4:21 pm
now i regret having thrown away dozens of unsent letters i wrote as a child/teen/young adult — it’d be a great way to look back now, but when i threw them away i thought it best to get rid of the "junk" in my life.
Heather
Oct 25, 2005 at 9:15 pm
Hi Stef,
Sometimes it is best to get rid of junk in that way. But you can always write new unsent letters to replace those you threw away. ;-)
A Creative Journal » Friendly Journal
Dec 22, 2006 at 7:23 am
[...] Earlier this week my daughter had such an experience with a girl she once considered her friend. After being continually let down by this friend my daughter felt sad and a little depressed. She also felt angry. I suggested she write in her journal an unsent letter to the girl about her feelings. Later my daughter was able to speak out what really upset her most about the situation. At that point my daughter’s journal was a better friend than the girl once considered a friend. [...]
A Creative Journal » Britney Spears
Mar 10, 2007 at 7:11 am
[...] Although I’m no fan I sure hope the journal writing therapy brings her more than just hit songs. The article also mentions the star writing apology letters, which is a journal writing technique I’ve written about called The Unsent Letter. [...]
Brian Wood
May 3, 2008 at 7:03 pm
I think the “Unsent Letter” concept is a great idea. I have a letter here in my position I wrote back on June 2, 1996 to a girl I met at a friends’ cottage.
I haven’t seen her since and greatly doubt I ever will, but by writing the four page letter I wrote, I at least got off my chest the feelings I have held for so long. Perhaps we hold our real feelings back for far too long?
Heather Goldsmith
May 4, 2008 at 1:53 am
Hi Brian,
Yes, I think the purpose of getting things off your chest is what the unsent letter is essentially about. Thanks for sharing how this journal writing technique worked so well for you. ;-)
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